When it feels like committing suicide is the answer, what is the question?
You might think the question is, “How can I stand what I have to deal with? There is no way out of my hopeless situation!”
Your question is important.
It means the solutions you have found aren’t good enough.
But, that doesn’t mean that there are no other solutions,
and it doesn’t mean that the solutions you discover won’t feel good to you, in the near future.
They will; that’s the beauty of a solution.
If the question is, how can I continue living such a hopeless life?
The old answer is, you can’t.
But the new answer is, you can find a way to create a completely different life, right here, right now, in the middle of the old situation.
When you want a really new life, with new outcomes and new people, one of the things you want is a way to feel strong in the midst of uncertainty. You have recognized that the old thoughts and ways of doing things create one dead end after another. Your question means that when you look out over your life honestly, you see that the way you have lived until now feels like it got you nowhere.
This could mean that you want something more powerful to live for, to work for, something that will open you up to a future you can embrace.
That’s good news. That means that you are ready to outgrow what has been defeating you.
How can you outgrow what defeats you? That’s the new answer to the old question, “how can I stand what I have to deal with?” The answer is: outgrow what defeats you.
How? This is the beauty of a new answer, you will search it out, you will find answers, accept or reject them as you go, all the time, reaching into a bigger experience than the small dark space you are living in today.
Here are some more fruitful questions to consider as you evaluate your life and experience:
What good things do I deserve to live long enough to experience?
Who around me, cares about what matters to me?
If I decided I wanted to live a different kind of life, what sort of situations would I want to have in it?
These are great questions for anyone to ask. But they are potent questions if you are considering the meaning of your own life to ask, and at an important time.
Some possible answers you might discover as you turn these questions over in your mind: I deserve to live long enough to be someone I want to be. I deserve to figure out how to live well. I want to think of the future in a new way, as something I can form to fit my needs and circumstance. I can be in power over my own experience as the future opens before me. I have one or two people that will care how I feel, when I share my sadness with them. I will trust them to listen.
If I rebuilt my life on the ashes of the old one, what new things would it have in it?
In the long run, as you fruitfully consider the question, “how can I outgrow what defeats me?” open your heart to new answers.
In the short run, talk to someone intelligent and amazingly supportive at your local suicide hotline center. To find someone wise and compassionate and just a phone call away, click on this link: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Share your answers about how you learn to outgrow what defeats you, to help others working through the same important question. Become a part of the solution when you comment on this article.
To summarize: The question is, is committing suicide the solution? When it feels like killing yourself is the answer, ask yourself, what is my real question? When you find the exact question, you are going to have new answers.
Search out the bigger questions of your life, they will expand your mind and show you new paths you can walk, beginning in this moment, now. Finding bigger questions and bigger answers will lift you out of your present darkness.
I have faith that your new answers will make you bigger than the problems you face.